


As Usual

by goldandsteel



Category: The Borgias
Genre: Angst, Because they're soul mates!, Borgiacest, F/M, Forbidden Love, Lucresare, Not really incest but incesty feels, One Shot, Unconsumed Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldandsteel/pseuds/goldandsteel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As usual, Lucrezia is having trouble to sleep. As usual, she runs into Cesare's arms. As usual, nothing can ever be the way they wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Usual

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, but these two just gave me so many feels, ugh. Fucking soul mates! This work could be placed after S02E03, but not necessarily. I just want them to be happy after ever, is that asking too much? Anyway, hope you like it, any kind of feedback is appreciated. <3

She crawled into his arms and he received her, as usual, in a loving and warm embrace. Lucrezia wanted to cry; she was constantly with this sensation of being near tears lately but she rarely wept, instead running for her son's little face or her brother's arms. With her little angel sleeping, she was free to go for the other option.

Cesare was, as usual, terribly intoxicated by his sister's presence, in late hours invading his chambers and poorly dressed. But he could never, not even in a thousand years, deny her some solace in those dark times and when she stared him, lip trembling and sad eyes, he opened his arms to hug her as he should.

"Hold me, Cesare." Lucrezia spoke as if it was needed, trying a little grin. His breath and brief laugh could be felt in her forehead as he complied.

"Always, my love." 

They couldn’t give in, not now, not ever and they both knew it. The conscience was spread all around the room, in the dim light, in the soft shadows, in the heat their bodies shared. There's a want lingering that could never be fulfilled so Lucrezia did the only thing she could do.

Her hands grabbed his thin nightshirt at his back, as thin as hers, when she buried her round face in his neck. Cesare's breath changed but he did nothing but hold her. Lucrezia secretly and deeply lamented that.

"Hold me." She repeated feeling him gulping, both arms around her and one hand brushing her golden messy hair. Something told her like a wicked murmur in the back of her ear he knew what kind of hold she craved for, but he wouldn’t ever give in – not for his own soul, but for hers.

“I’m holding you, my golden sister.” Cesare’s voice was wrecked and he knew his heart was too. The only woman who could fix it rested right against his chest, so close but so terribly inaccessible.

“Stronger.” She murmured, making him smile. His thoughts were much dirtier than he wished but Cesare would never dare to stain his sister’s soul with unforgiving sins. There’s nothing dirty, nevertheless, in a strong embrace – he told himself as he complied again pressing the woman closer for some seconds.

Lucrezia sighed, eyes burning with unwanted tears. They could never give in, not to lust nor to loss. They could never break, never fall, never deny their name, their blood, the trail of blood behind theirs steps. They wouldn’t ever be free.

“Stronger.” Her voice was a faint whisper and although none of them moved, the simple flexion of muscles in Cesare’s arms as he pulled her closer again made her squirm. It was a chain of events they both knew very well; the man left her go fast enough and she grabbed him with more dedication. “ _Stronger._ ”

The tone of her whisper, that time, did things to his body and Cesare only wanted to step away from her, whilst it was the only thing he didn’t wanted to do ever. He made a feeble attempt, easily erased by her soft and determinate hands at his back and he knew he couldn’t deny her anything. Taking a deep breath and wishing she couldn’t feel what was happening between his legs against his will, Cesare embraced her again, using nearly all of his force.

Lucrezia panted, lost in the warmth of her brother’s arms and chest, some stubborn tears slipping from her closed eyes. She felt his arousal and although she wished she could stop herself, a long and strangled moan left her lips.

Before she knew, Cesare was not there. He let her go and retreated to his open window, crushing the wood of the balcony with both hands, trying to recover the air he lost and the little control that he still had somewhere in his mind.

“It’s late, sis. You must go to your bed.” For a single moment she felt worse; worse than when she came into his room, worse than she had felt anytime in her life. Lucrezia swallowed more tears, feeling abandoned, but when the man turned to face her his own twisted expression brushed off that silly feeling. He was suffering too. “Please. You must rest.”

Cesare would never abandon her, just as she would never abandon him. Nor would he kiss her and drown on their strange love, just as she wouldn’t. They were bound to be always apart.

She screamed in her mind _I love you, I want you, be mine, make me yours, run with me, please_. The words never left her lips, though; instead, she smiled as usual and Cesare used all the willpower he still had to smile back.

“I’ll leave. Sleep with the angels, my brother… And thank you.” Cesare gulped again; he would rather run and kiss her and worship her all night long, but he kept that to himself.

“Dream of Heaven, sis. I’ll always be here when you wake up.” Lucrezia blew a kiss in the air before leaving. In her chambers she faced her baby some seconds before lying down and only in her bed, she noticed how loud her heart was beating, how fast her blood was running. She thought of Cesare’s embraces and closed her eyes hearing her own heart thumping. They were Borgias and they should behave as such, which in truth, meant being puppets of their name.

  _Puppets,_ she thought staring her canopy coldly; of their blood, their blessing, their curse. 


End file.
